Reality Paid Me a Visit

We knew this renovation would be a time and money suck. But fools rush in where angels fear to tread—and visions of grandeur and pools, and columns, and gold and diamond encrusted walkways leading to our door, filled our heads. And we plunked down our money and bought the home. Idiots.

Reality was no where in sight when we first purchased this dump. We had dreams. You, know, your basic "lets-not-really-address-the- "money- issue"- until- we- have-to- sort-of-dreams" that seems to be some sort of sick, mind twisted, mentality that is innate in people dumb enough to take on a project that most normal people passed on.

In the beginning of your project your dreams remain big and vibrant and you actually think you can do it all. Yeah, and someday monkeys will fly out of my butt.

Flush with cash from a previous house sale, you throw caution to the wind…On this house, you tell yourself, you will do everything and get everything your heart throbs for. And in the beginning it is true: You purchase the upgrades, you buy things that aren’t really necessary (or could be purchased later)—because "this house is worth it." But as you start to finish your house, and that pot-o-cash that you had in the beginning starts to look more like a pot to piss in, you know Reality is right around the corner—like a hooker in the Tenderloin. Pretty soon you need to deal with her.

Reality always gets in the way. She met me at the front door as I came home from work and got my latest Visa bill in the mail. Damn you Reality.

Many of the "luxury" items that we had on our "Wish List" are being eliminated or put on the "We'll-Try-To-Do-That-Later" list (AKA, "The Black Hole List.")

Despite the fact that we need to make some tough choices, our house will be lovely when we are out of cash—it will be livable and comfortable and we will have all the "little things" that make a house nice—you know, like a toilet, washer and dryer, and a kitchen. However, we will not get everything we had hoped for…greedy bastards that we are.

All because Reality paid me a visit. Bee-yotch.